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Mad Baron

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I'm going out with a bang!

This morning I finished a short story called Darkness in in The Midst of Her. I hope people will enjoy it once I share. I am submitting to an anthology call. If it does not get in I will post it on my blog. It's another witch story. Different witch though. I like witches. :)

Sanguine Road has slowed because my draft zero received feedback requires I put it on hold and think. Part of the problem is there is too much Rufus (character from my Roman fantasy) in Emeric. So, I'm revisiting his character. With only 10 days til Nanowrimo it may be on hold until January.

Because December is blog short story month! And, this year I am doing...dun dun dun...the alphabet! Yes, the alphabet has fewer letters than there are days in the month. This provides some leeway for me as it is a busy month. Each story's central character's name will follow the ABCs. 

I've got ideas slowly forming. 

Nanowrimo this year is going to be a Copper and Riona novel. I am SO excited! Truly excited! I get to do a deeper dive into these characters. And, I'm using Riona's current name, Silver. Why is that her name? Well, because...No...Not ready to spoil that yet! 

Both my short story and Sanguine Road are in Draft 0 mode right now. What does that mean? It means I don't start with draft 1. Because I don't outline. Pantsing is an artform. And a lot of work. LOL My version involves having character ideas, a sliver of a plot, and a setting. I write the draft out and use that to outline a proper draft. Yes, it's more work, but I never outlined in school either. Not until the paper was done. 

I am also researching a new project. I've bought new history books. Eee! So fun! All I will say is it is a medieval fantasy set somewhere in Eastern Europe and involves books. I've a basic plot, unnamed characters, and the beginning of the setting's history. 

Looking forward to all of these writing projects. Especially fixing a little novel called Mad Baron's Doomed Daughter. Because it's been percolating in my mind and I may have the bits I need. 

Happy Halloween!

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This is too painful.

Ugh.

Just...ugh.

Seriously...ugh.

Ok, done with that bit of self-pity.

Over the weekend, I did a lot of thinking, a lot of working on anything but what I should be working on, and talking to the beloved. I am going to shelve my Mad Baron rewrite for now. I keep getting stuck, keep fighting with scenes for weeks, and keep working on...well, see above.

I've completed two short stories for Copper and Riona, started a third, revisited all my open projects, and avoided the word doc open on my desktop. I can either continue to beat myself up over this forever, or I can set it aside until the time is right to take it up again. There WILL be a time to take it up again. I am by no means calling it quits on, to me, is one of the best projects I've worked on until now. 

I just can't keep beating my head against this wall. Disa and Sorvjorn and their delightful companions are still inside my head. I will get them out, but not...not quite yet. I'm working on something entirely different now. I'll share a few tidbits of it down the line.

For now, I am giving myself permission to not feel bad about having a project so close to being done and not being done. Because, if I continue to hit the wall, I'm liable to damage myself. This is all still a process I am learning. I know, in time, I can make Mad Baron as kick ass as it appears in my head. For now, I am going to work on something different with no name. The working title is Juggernaut and it's paranormal romance. 

Fine. Here's a teeny peek. :)

Seven hours ago, the job had been easy.

Now I had three dead bodies, one annoyed vampire, and distant sirens to content with. The simplest solution would be to kill the vampire, but then I won’t get paid. Also, he had the potential to be useful. I checked my reflection in the mirror to be sure my skin was blood free. The clothes were a lost cause, but if I made it across town they were an easy fix.

“This is not what I agreed to, ma cannelle.”

I had to turn to see him. It’s not that vampires have no reflection. They did, but it’s not a true one.

 

 

 

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Oh. That explains everything.

I've been stressed for the last month, maybe two, and now I know why. At first I thought it was summer doldrums and resolved to push past it. Except, I didn't. Like, at all. So, I didn't do much of anything and let the depression take me. @whee. Never a good idea.

Took beloved to the doctor for his cough the other day and mentioned I need a prescription refilled for my thyroid condition and did I need bloodwork. I did. And, thankfully so. Because my dosage needed to be raised. It's been so even for so long I never considered it an option for why I was so down and felt off. It's gone up and down in the years since I was diagnosed, but always with a few years inbetween.

Now, in the midst of a feeling bad about everything cycle is not the time I'm going to think my clearest. So, I never considered it being my medication. Neither did beloved. He knew I was having a hard time because I told him. We both have these moments and do our best to tell each other so we can help. I told him last month, don't let me lay in bed all weekend, and he does not.

I am so terribly thankful I married such a great guy.

So, new prescription. I anticipate being back to my normal, not normal, self before too much longer. I've even ignored my desire for cake. What am I eating? F*ing celery. Which I hate. I mean, I like it fine in salads or stews and such, but....argh! Even beloved's suggestion to pretend I am gnawing on the bones of my enemies doesn't make it more appealing.

I so want cake. :( At least, should my bananas ever ripen, I can make banana bread. I hate watching what I eat. And cutting back on the sugar in my tea. And using the horrible torture device in the workshop. But, hey! We do what we have to do.

Today I forced myself to get dressed and go out and spend 15 minutes on the elliptical. Which, for me right now, is a long time. Last night I put my clothes on top of the dresser where, this morning, they stared at me until I forced myself to workout for a wee little bit. I know how to guilt myself into doing what I should. :D

All of this means I should, fingers crossed, be able to dive back into MBDD revisions. There's still time to get a rough draft done before November so I can participate in Nanowrimo.

In happier news, I am slowly accumulating pieces for my costume for the OKC stop on the American Wake Tour next month. OMG! It's LESS than a month away. Eee! I am super excited for this. Oh, and check out their YouTube page for truly awesome content! Such a fangirl.

That is all for now. Other than a reminder to visit your doctor for lab work when you should! It's nice to know WHY I've felt the way I have. And to know I can make it better.

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In Totally Expected News...

I am the worst person possible to be helping eldest plan his first middle school report. Because, alas, for him my approach does not work for him. So, I had to sit down and help him with organization. I do not organize. Even in school I sat down, yes, at the last minute, and wrote. My brain doesn't work unless there is total chaos within and without.

I was not the best student in the world. ;) I got good grades, but I was not a good student. Me and traditional schooling are oil and water. Hence, the lack of college graduation. I grew bored, then annoyed, then stopped going.

So, what does all this have to do with writing? Specifically, my writing? Well, it means this:

I am planning the FOURTH attempt at a beginning for Mad Baron's Doomed Daughter. The first was wrong. The second not much better. The third seemed to work, the people who read it said it worked, it did not work. The shred of doubt was always there. But, I had nothing else.

Now, I think I know what to do. The beginning is the weakest part of the story. In my opinion. The few other opinions garnered didn't quite say that, but I sensed dissatisfaction. So, I will work on Beginning Number Four which will require twisting a few things around in the full draft. Scenes will need to be moved or removed as with the new beginning they will be unneeded.

I think I am excited. ;)

It's hard to say.

Work... Sheesh! :D

I cannot start until I finish reading and offering sage advice to someone else who entrusted me with her ms. (Is NEEDS MOAR B00BS a valid critique? How about NEEDS MOAN PEEN?) I'm not going to say either. I'm asking for a friend. A pervy friend. Not me. I am not like that at all! Just ask the beloved!

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes!

New beginning. Which means wip will sit on hold for a bit. Which is ok as I am still researching books. There's no title for the new project. The draft is called Juggernaut. The plot is there, the characters are getting fleshed out, but the pacing will require more research. Thank goodness my Nook is loaded and ready!

 

 

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On minor discomfort and misbehaving characters

I spent the weekend thinking I should write, but a disgusting headache most of Saturday stole my will to do anything but whine and be sad for myself. So, I said I should at least do a blog post, but I couldn't be bothered as I was busy wishing I felt better.

Sunday came and I felt better, but was busy doing all the things I did not do on Saturday.

Today I am better. I've managed to write about 1000 words on the Mad Baron's Doomed Daughter. My characters are frustrating me and I have a feeling a lot of what I've written lately will require cutting. Surely this constant back and forth will resolve itself. In the meantime I will let them meander a bit knowing I can take a figurative red pen to them later. They are all like nervous dogs being tossed into a new pack.

I was looking over my first novel, written three years ago, and how sad. Sad. The whole series will be getting a rewrite. Which means I have about 400k words to redo. Although not this year. This year is already full, but next year I'd like to make time for that as well as new writing.

There also needs to be time made to work on the website. I want to do more with it, but every time I think of it there's something else to do. I should plan my time better. Even typing the words is to laugh. Myself and time management go way back. There's a bitter feud between us and there can be no winner.

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The Click Moment

At least, that's how I see it. Yesterday I finally reached the point in the story where two of the main characters made that first connection. It's going to be a rocky road for them over the next five books, but they've started the trip. This was not the first time they've been alone or even the first time they've talked, but it was the first time they managed to find a little chink in their own prisons so they could reach out. Disa is seriously fucked up from a lifetime of near solitude and decades of torture. Sorvjorn is less so, but he has plenty of demons of his own.

This is not a romance novel. There's no couple HEA at the end of book one. Instead it's a slow unfolding of a friendship that may or may not get to something else. I don't know yet. The characters are still too new to one another to know what will happen. I thrive on the unknown and chaos when writing so this doesn't bother me in the least. Still, the click moment. I love it and I am impatient to see what happens next.

 

“No,” Sorvjorn said as he forced his feet to stay in place. “No, don’t cry, Disa. Please.” He lost the battle of wills and shuffled closer, hands at his sides. “I don’t want to make you cry. I won’t touch you. Promise. I know you don’t want me touching you.” The words stabbed in his heart, but he couldn’t entirely blame her. He was too big, too different, to attract much attention from the prettier women. “Look, I’ll go get wood. You light that lantern, Disa. Get some light in here and close the window and I’ll bring back wood.”

Disa’s head lifted and he smiled at her. “The door doesn’t lock on the outside,” she said.

“So?” Sorvjorn asked, puzzled.

“So, how will you lock me in? What if I run off?”

“I’m not your jailer!” Sorvjorn said hotly. She recoiled from his anger and he winced. “Disa, I was worried about you. I am worried about you. But if…if you don’t want me here I’ll go get you wood and something to eat and then leave you.” He wouldn’t go back to Laelia who would lecture and interrogate him.

“I’m a freak,” Disa said. “Why would you want to be here? You could be anywhere. With anyone.” She shuffled to the window and pulled it closed after knocking snow from the sill. “I don’t understand.” In the dark she turned and stared at him. “You touched me.” It was half an accusation and Sorvjorn didn’t know how to respond. “No one touches me. Not even the ones who like to scare me and threaten me. No one touches me. But you did. I don’t know why.”

Sorvjorn watched as she tried to light the lantern on the counter. He added oil to the list of items to buy. “Disa,” he said when she gave up. “I don’t think you’re a freak. And it sounds selfish to say it, but part of why I like being by you is that you keep us calm.” Disa’s laugh was short and sharp. “Not just him,” Sorvjorn said. “Laelia forces him to be calm. She makes us two people and we aren’t. We’re one person and we don’t fight around you. I don’t know why.”

In his coat she looked small, but she wasn’t. He liked that she was almost as tall as him. He didn’t like how thin she was because it meant she wasn’t eating. “You need me.” He almost missed the words, intent on staring at her. She was pretty. What were a few scars? Or even more than a few? He wanted to kiss her.

“Uh, yea,” he managed. “I think so. Liked touching you. Like being useful.” They weren’t so different, he thought. “Won’t touch you though, Disa. Promise. Only, maybe someday, you might like to hold my hand. Would like that.” She didn’t say anything. “I’ll, uh, go get wood. Will you wait here for me?”

“I will,” Disa said and he smiled. He left her there in the freezing room and hurried to the market. He took a wrong turn twice, but was back in less than an hour.

 

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What am I working on?

My amazing beta reader/editor is working his way through Siren's Call. Right now he's about a third of the way through it. What happens when he's done? I am not sure. I'm glad to have his gracious assistance because my husband is not much of a historical romance fan. It does help that it takes place aboard a naval ship. He's a huge fan of sailing ships, as am I, and his knowledge is certainly within easier recall than mine. This was my first foray in to a romance structure. My other books have had romance elements, but never have I done a book with that as a core plot. It was tough, but I'm pleased enough with it. 

I am working on book one in the Mad Baron's Doomed Daughter series. I'm planning on doing six books, one for each of the dead gods' replacements. The setting is an alternate Earth where Ragnarok has occurred. It was fun to dive in to this as it's definitely darker than Siren's Call and I tend to get a little dark in my writing so keeping that tamped down in my romance novel took a little work. Although it has several dark elements. 

And, of course, I am still learning to fine tune the website. As I'd rather be writing a book than web content this is slow going. 

Once I finish this book I am not sure where I will jump next. Perhaps I'll seriously sit down and work seriously at editing and adjusting my post apocalypse series. Which needs a name. I also have ideas for several sequels to the romance book, plus another Angels book, plus the rest of the Mad Baron series. If only I had a couple extra brains!

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