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31 Days - Day 18

 

“Mama! Higher, mama!”

Dosia squealed as her bare feet kicked Marcelina’s stomach. Despite her promises to Jory to keep low to the ground, Marcelina caught an updraft. Dosia screamed as her chubby fingers clutched the leather harness keeping her strapped to her mama.  She was fearless and Marcelina loved her for it. It also kept her up at night with the sort of fear she’d never felt for herself.

“Mama had better not have done what the little terror said.”

Jory’s voice in her ear made her shiver in a way the winter wind did not. Whatever secret project he worked on must be done. She hadn’t seen him for two days as he’d been locked in his office.

“Want to go see daddy?”

Arms thrown out wide with a squeal, Dosia screamed, “Daddy!”

“I feel the same way.”

“Fast, mama! Fast!”

Marcelina whooped, tucked her scarlet wings in, and dove for the ground. The whole way down, Dosia laughed and kicked. Even knowing she was liable to wind up black and blue from tiny feet she couldn’t resist.

 A stumble on her landing did not diminish Dosia’s fun.

It did, she noted, make Jory’s worried scowl deepen. Even though their daughter continued to squeal in delight, Marcelina didn’t manage more than a quick smile.

Jory had his cane and the few paces between them he covered slowly. Had he not slept at all the last couple days? New worry bloomed in her chest. Dosia tried to launch herself at her daddy, but the leather straps held her in place. Jory tried to undo the buckles, but his hands shook.

“Daddy! Hold me. Daddy!”

“I’m trying, terror. Just give daddy a minute.”

“Better idea. Let mama carry you til we get home.”

“I want daddy! Daddy, hold me!”

“Dosia!”

Marcelina rarely used that tone with her daughter. On more than one occasion it had been pointed out she spoiled her daughter. Most of the time, Marcelina would tell them to fuck off. Her daughter already had an abnormal childhood. All the terror she’d been insulated from was always a day away for Dosia. So, if she were a little spoiled she had it coming.

If there was one thing, one thing, she would not let her daughter get away with, it was anything that might harm Jory. He’d already suffered so much for her. She would die for him, kill for him. And, if the need arose, she would scold her daughter.

“Sorry, daddy.”

“It’s ok, baby terror. But, mama’s right. Let’s go inside and I’ll hold you.”

The harness itched, but Marcelina knew better than to take it off and free Dosia. They weren’t that far from the entrance to their hallway. The rooms they lived in were right by the outside door. No one had wanted them. Not secure enough for the more nervous sort. Marcelina liked the idea of being able to get out quick.

Once inside, she shooed Jory to the sofa. Her own hands shook as she watched his heavy limp. They worked him too hard and it made her angry. His own worries about some of her missions she could dismiss. After all, she was tough. Not that she would say such a thing to him. Not after last time.

“Ouch!”

Dosia was impatient. Her kicks had grown more insistent. So, Marcelina freed her and watched her race toward Jory. Once free of the harness she went to the bathroom. Another reason to take these rooms. Hardly anyone had their own bathroom. From the cabinet she took out Jory’s medicines.

“How do you do that?”

Dosia was curled up in a chair half-asleep.

“I’m magic.”

His words made her shiver. Rather than kiss him senseless, she brought him the pills. After he took them. That would be the time to kiss him senseless.

Except, magic didn’t exist and by the time Jory felt better Dosia was awake and running around. Marcelina left them to fetch dinner. Not once did she think of asking him what he’d been working on. They’d agreed to that right after the rebels had pulled them into the fold.

A fold she knew he disliked as much as her. Three years now and she had the sense they’d already seen the best this group had to offer. Neither of them spoke of leaving. After living under the rule of a tyrant all their lives neither of them trusted anyplace to be free of observation.

By the time they were done with dinner, both Dosia and Jory were nodding off.

“They work you too hard.”

“Well, there’s not enough smart people to go around.”

“Are you calling me dumb?”

“Yes.”

“Idiot. I should have let Charlotte have you.”

Jory laughed before he stroked the scarlet feathers on the back of her neck. If he was not so tired as to make the invitation, she would take him up on it. With any luck, Dosia would not wake up and interrupt.

 


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31 Days - Day 17

They’d said it was a suicide mission. No one had wanted to go. Since the job needed doing they’d asked for volunteers. Of which there had not been any. Not until she’d raised her hand. Dosia had started to cry as if she knew her mother was being an idiot. Or so Jory had told her later that night once their daughter had gone to bed.

Their argument was quiet so as not to wake her, but it was an argument. Marcelina knew he understood why she’d volunteered. She understood he was afraid for her. All of the understanding had not left them with any resolution.

“Idiot,” whispered in her earpiece.

“Dumbee,” she whispered back.

He’d taken the night shift monitoring her progress since she’d left three days ago. Sometimes she’d hear Dosia in the background. She’d turned one not long before Marcelina had left. A normal child. No missing limbs, or extra…stuff. Jory had never been able to quite reassure her. Not until she’d had Dosia and held her in her arms. Normal. Unlike her mother.

“The reports are looking worse, Marcelina. Are you sure you won’t scrub this insanity and come back?”

The three-day trip to this outpost had been harrowing. Twice she’d almost been caught, but she hadn’t told Jory. He worried enough now. When she got home she would tell him. She would be safe then. He would hold her and it would be a bad dream because nothing bad would happen when he held her.

“I can’t.”

“I know.” His sigh barely made it through the earpiece. “Dosia misses her mama. I do too.”

Tears threatened her vision, but she dashed them away with a quick swipe of her hand.

“I miss her dad. Especially when it’s this cold.” She hadn’t been warm since she’d left the rebels’ base.

“Tonight then?”

“It has to be. I picked up some chatter earlier. The inspectors left this morning. There’s only five soldiers here now.”

“Five to one is not good, Marcelina.”

“If the one were someone not me, Jory.”

His laugh was harder to hear than his sigh had been.

“You had better be careful. Or I will kick your ass when you get home.”

“With what foot?”

“Low blow, Couch.”

“I thought you liked those?”

He stuttered and he stammered and she knew he’d be blushing.

“I’m going quiet now. I’ll contact again in an hour. When it’s done.”

“Marcelina, please me careful.”

“Only because you asked. I love you.”

“I love you.”

He would still listen. The mic would be muted, but he’d hear everything. Which was why she was determined to do this by the book. Nothing reckless. So he would know he didn’t have to worry.

Marcelina crept closer to the outpost. There was not much to it above ground. The base could extend underground, but they did not know. What she needed was in the communication shack. Where there were always at least two people. Because if this had been an easy task someone else would have volunteered.

For an hour she froze on the ground as she watched the soldiers. No one had been more surprised than her to discover she had the patience for this work. The shack door opened and one of the radiomen came out to light a cigarette. Which left one inside.

Every muscle wanted to run, but she took it slow. She had, maybe, two minutes the way he was sucking on the thing in his mouth. A snicker surprised her. Had she laughed? Marcelina slapped a hand over her mouth. An itch on her back had her shrug off her coat. The thin wool didn’t keep the cold out anyway.

A flat, empty stretch of ground stood between her shadows and the access she needed at the back of the shack. She didn’t think about what she would do or what might happen. Instead, Marcelina raced across the ground and almost slammed into the back wall. That would have been bad.

From her coat pocket she pulled out the small pin and stuck it into the thickest wire in the mess. Pressed against the wall as she was, it was easy to hear the alarm ping. Fuck. Marcelina almost dropped the syringe, but uncapped it without incident.

The door opened and she heard voices. Fuck again. Hands shaking, she carefully inserted the syringe into the hole the pin had left. Once she’d injected whatever weird tech she’d been carrying, she ran her finger over the wire. She felt no trace of a hole.

Now all she had to do was get away.

“Don’t move.”

“Fuck.” The word echoed in her ear.

“Identify yourself.”

Later, when she was safe at home, she would honestly tell Jory she had no idea what had come over her.

Right now, she let her wings extend and heard gasps from the three men standing with guns pointed at her. The wind picked up and she let it help her as she launched herself into the air. A few feet off the ground she spoke as alarms sounded around her.

“I am the Scarlet Ibis. Tell your people they are no longer safe. They will never be safe until they throw off their oppressor. Because so long as your beloved president rules, I will be here to take him and those who follow him down.”

She stopped fighting the wind and flew higher. It was quite dramatic, she thought.

“You stole that speech from The Claw 195.”

“Shut up, Jory!”



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31 Days - Day 16

 

“Are you sure?” The look from the medic annoyed Marcelina. Annoyance made her blush. Embarrassment had her demand he run the test again.

“This was the third time. I don’t think even I could mess things up so badly as to make a mistake that many times in a row.”

She didn’t know this medic, but she knew that tone of voice. So, she mumbled an apology and left. As agitated as she was there was no way to keep her wings still. Scarlet feathers fluttered and she reached out to grab a wing tip as it brushed against the concrete wall. Somedays she hated them more than others. Whenever she was upset it was impossible to control them.

Jory thought it amusing and had declared himself satisfied he could provide others with a list of warning signs for when to avoid her. Thinking of him changed her path. She wanted to see him, but he was working.

Not that it mattered in the end. Marcelina had told him, in the early days of his recovery, that she was selfish. A fact she’d never voiced aloud before. As he’d laid in bed, only half aware sometimes, she’d unburdened her soul to him. None of it was lies, but perhaps he’d been right when he’d told her one day she looked at herself through a skewed lens.

Either way, selfish or not, she couldn’t stop herself from going to his lab. He hadn’t let his injuries slow him down. She stood in the door and watched him work at first. With no idea what he was doing, science had never been her strong suit, she could only admire the way he moved. Which she did. All the time.

A cane rested against the wall, but he didn’t use it. Not this early in the day. By evening he would use it to help steady himself. His left leg was gone from above the knee and the prosthetic was old school. They managed to save his right leg, but not his foot. Marcelina, only thankful he was alive, had made it clear she did not care. Not, he’d assured her, that he’d ever doubted.

A smile curved her lips upwards as he finally noticed her.

His grin made her stomach do somersaults.

No. It wasn’t the grin.

Marcelina made it to the wastebasket in time to lose her breakfast.

“Marcelina! Are you ok?”

He could move quite fast when he needed to and Jory was by her side with a towel and a glass of water before she was done being sick.

“I’m fine,” she croaked before another wave of nausea hit her. Head bent over the basket she waited with an agitated impatience for it to end. Jory’s fingers stroked down the feathers that ran down her neck. A flash of lust crept into her nausea. Damn him. Now her body pulled her in two directions.

“Marcelina, what’s the matter?”

Lifting her head didn’t make her feel ill so she did. He handed her the glass and she rinsed her mouth out before drinking. A grin bordered on a smirk so she used his sleeve to wipe her mouth. Jory wrinkled his nose, but his fingers continued to stroke her feathers.

“That got me in this situation in the first place.”

Not that it mattered. She scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder. The scarlet wings on her back extended with a ruffle before they closed around the two of them.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“The door is open.”

“Which is not you saying no.”

“When was the last time I told you no, Jory Couch?”

“Never.”

“Which is why we’re in this situation.”

Jory’s hand moved, swept under her wing, and rested against her stomach. Not once did she think the medic had spilled the beans. Jory always knew what was going on with her. She’d never doubted him. Except that once, but that was Charlotte. Stupid Charlotte.

“It’ll be ok, Marcelina Couch. I have you.”

And he did. So, it would be.

 

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31 Days - Day 15

 

The building shook around them and she watched as dust and debris rained down with a steady ping of concrete on metal. Every time a bit of wall or ceiling hit her helmet, Marcelina flinched. It was clear to everyone but their captain the enemy had their position locked in. Unfortunately for everyone, the captain had demanded they hold. In the end, she supposed, dying here or across the street wouldn’t matter.

For three days they’d been trying to push across the ruined city. The captain claimed the enemy had bombed it years ago, but Marcelina didn’t believe him. Oh, she didn’t doubt the enemy might have, but it was as likely their own president dictator had bombed the poor souls who lived here. Likely on a whim.

Footsteps thudded under the sound of guns and Marcelina swiveled on her knees and lifted her rifle.

“Friendly. Friendly! Don’t shoot.”

Only training beaten into her head kept Marcelina from dropping her rifle. She did break rank and race across the broken ground. He was the first one through the door and Marcelina felt her heart beat for the first time in two days. The weeping gash in her arm from a stray bullet, fired from one side or the other, didn’t matter. Neither did the bruises running down the left side of her body where she’d fallen when a floor collapsed under her. Marcelina threw her arms around Jory.

“I thought you were died. They said- your platoon.”

He wrapped his arms around her and they stood that way as her captain shouted orders. So close. They’d been so close, but it had been made clear they would never serve together. They could die alone. One at a time. She’d known he was in the city. Because the president dictator had also been sure to keep her appraised. The bastard.

“We’re all that’s left,” Jory murmured against her ear. “I knew you would be here.”

His voice was the only noise she heard despite the battle outside. What he said, she barely comprehended, but that was ok. Jory would know she only needed to hear him.

“Mrs. Couch,” he whispered at last and kissed her. A few soldiers hooted, but neither of them cared. It had been almost a year since they’d done more than see one another. Marcelina would shoot the first person who tried to pull her from his arms.

The radio crackled and she stiffened in his embrace. Jory shook his head and kept his arms around her as they turned to see what was going on. The radio never sent good news.

“New orders, sir,” the radio operator said as he tugged the goggled helmet from his head. “We’re to go up three streets. They have prisoners.”

If anyone heard Jory’s whimper other than Marcelina they didn’t speak. She’d seen prisoners handled as well. Their arms unwound from each other, but their hands stayed linked. The captain smirked, but said nothing. He knew. He would hurt them soon enough. Her commanding officers knew her time was up. It had been since the day she’d stepped into the government van outside Jory’s house.

No resistance met them as they moved forward. Shells exploded overhead, but they knew by now to keep their helmets on and their heads down. The building they’d been in moments before exploded in a shower of metal and concrete.

“If only,” she muttered.

“Idiot,” he muttered back with a grin.

Her heart, only recently beating again, nearly stopped once more at his grin. His face was a mess of cuts and dried blood, but his eyes still shone when he looked at her. As they moved she tried to see if he was injured. No limp, no odd hanging arms, and his fingers seemed to be working fine. Of course, if he had internal injuries they could have dosed him with enough combat cocktail to keep him on his feet until his insides exploded.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re crazy.”

“I got it from you.”

In the middle of a war zone was not the place to have the sorts of thoughts she had now. Marcelina wished they could have five minutes alone. Well, hours, but she’d settle for five minutes.

Instead, they hurried into a makeshift command building. It had been some kind of store before, she thought. In the last year she’d gotten quite good at figuring out what a ruined building used to house.

“In here,” a sergeant said. The captain led them to the back. A receiving area, Marcelina suspected.

Then she saw the prisoners.

“No.”

Jory heard her whisper and squeezed her hand harder. She moved forward and he didn’t let go. They shoved through the small group gathered.

“Those are not enemy combatants, sir,” she said.

“Shut up, private.”

“Sir, those are children!”

A dozen children knelt together. Their clothes were no more than rags and skeletal limbs covered in new and old wounds shook. None of them could have been older than ten.

“This is it,” she whispered to Jory.

She would die here. He only squeezed her hand before he dropped it. They both stepped forward and stood between the children and the other soldiers.

“Stand down, private.”

“Fuck you, sir. These are not enemy combatants.”

“I say they are.”

“They can barely hold their heads up, captain. There’s no way they held a weapon.”

“Stand down, private!”

“Fuck you, sir.”

“You said that already.”

Hysteria threatened her. Marcelina couldn’t stop a mad laugh. Jory still grinned, but he’d raised his gun. Hers, she realized, was already up and pointed at the captain.

“You’re dead, private.”

“So are you, captain.”

Marcelina shot him in the chest. He stumbled back and before she heard the sound of gunfire erupt in the room she heard the whistle of an incoming missile. Gun held with one hand, she reached for Jory with the other and she didn’t know what hit her first, the falling ceiling or the bullets from the other soldiers.

#

Hands grabbed her arms and she screamed. It felt like she was being pulled through a tube half her size by metal claws. No, that wasn’t dramatic enough. After she woke up from passing out she’d think of something better. Or let Jory. He had a better way with words.

Whispered voices drew her from the cocoon of unconsciousness. She hated them. Marcelina opened one eye, but couldn’t see anything.

“Jory?”

The croak of her voice silenced the others.

“Jory?” she tried again.

“She’s alive.”

“Yes,” an almost familiar voice said. “Find him. We need to move.”

“Where’s Jory?”

A spark of light made Marcelina blink and when her vision almost worked she recognized the woman crouched beside her. Well, she recognized the scars covering half of her. The woman from Herbert’s funeral. Why was she here?

“Jory is here. Somewhere. We’re attempting to find him.” Her voice expressed doubt without words.

Ignoring the pain, Marcelina sat up. If Jory were here, here being the ruins of the building they’d almost died in, she would be the one to find him. The unknown woman watched as Marcelina tried to stand. Her legs were too unsteady and she gave out a cry as she fell down.

“Yes, you are going to be a big help.”

“Fuck. You.”

Then she heard it. Barely a whisper. Maybe no one else did, but she did.

“You said that.”

Marcelina wanted to scream. Not only because she heard him, but because she was becoming aware of how much she hurt. Her entire back burned and they’d left something on it. Had a piece of the ceiling fused with her armor? No, she wasn’t wearing armor.

“Jory!” She’d wanted to yell, but had barely managed a whisper. On her hands and knees she crawled over debris to begin digging for him. He would be alive. They would be fine. The same two sentences were on repeat in her mind as two others, unknowns, joined her quest.

As much as she wanted to tell them to go away, she didn’t. Their help would be needed. Otherwise, she would send them all away. Jory would either be ok and they would leave together or he’d be too hurt and she would sit here with him until they both died.

“The kids?” Jory whispered as soon as they’d moved enough of the collapsed building to see him.

Marcelina felt guilty for not thinking of them first.

“We managed to save four of them.”

“Jory? Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

“Please, let us see to him. We are trained.”

A growl vibrated in her chest. The weight of her knife at her hip told her she was not unarmed. Except, Jory had freed a hand and brushed his fingers across her thigh. It was bad. She knew and, hating herself for being a coward, retreated.

The scarred woman hadn’t moved. Marcelina worked her way over to her and noticed the itching on her back. Better than the burning, she supposed. Had there been a chemical weapon in the missile? Were they all dead anyway?

Jory screamed.

Marcelina shrieked when she felt something on her back. Her head whipped from one side to the other. What? No.

This time she whimpered for herself.

What had happened to her?

Jory screamed again. It was too much and she dodged around the scarred woman’s hand to hurry as best she could back to her husband’s side. Husband, despite what had been done. They’d not been allowed to legally marry as it would have given them the right to serve together. They only had their own vows.

“Jory?” she whimpered.

His eyes unfocused and she saw the needle in his arm. Combat cocktail, she thought. To keep his body from crashing. He lifted his hand and she heard feathers ruffle. As his fingers stroked scarlet feathers she realized they were hers.

“Do you have claws?” he wheezed.

Marcelina looked down at her hands. They looked normal. So, she shook her head.

“A shame. Then- then-”

She felt them now, feathers in her hair and down from there to her shoulders and back. Where her wings were. Wings. Marcelina wondered if she’d been drugged.

“We need to cut him out.”

“He has to live.”

Funny. She should have said that, but it was the other woman. With the scars. Why would she care if Jory lived?

Oh. Because of Marcelina.

Wait. How did she know?

Her head spun so she clutched it as warm, damp feathers closed around her. Jory screamed so she did as well. The scarred woman was right. He had to live.

No one else would be able to stop the visions of blood she saw in her head from coming true. 

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31 Days - Day 14

Whispers had followed them all day. School had been an impossible length and a waste. She’d wanted to stay away. He hadn’t. So, she’d attended classes she didn’t give a shit about. On her way into her second to last class a hand plucked at her sleeve and she turned to see Jory. He pulled her away from the door and towards the exit.

“Jory?”

“Enough. You’ve done enough, Marcelina. Come on.”

Relief flooded through her as they slipped from the school. The cameras would have seen them, but neither cared. It wouldn’t matter. Not after today. Everyone had said it would be today.

They walked back to his house, hands clasped and neither speaking. His parents worked so they had the house to themselves. After ransacking the kitchen, they wound up in his bedroom. Another contest of wills then, but Marcelina won and they had frenzied, desperate sex in the silence of the house.

“We have time,” he pointed out when they were done and laid together in a jumble of sweaty limbs.

“Next time. I- I just needed that.”

He kissed her cheek with a grin.

Marcelina clung to him and hated the way she sobbed. A vow this morning not to do this exact thing had not kept it from happening. It would end today. Everything would. She didn’t want it to happen. It wasn’t fair.

Jory stroked her back and let her cry. With her face buried against his chest she could let him think she didn’t know he cried. He probably didn’t worry about such things.

“Eww. You’re wiping your nose on my chest.”

“I am not!”

Marcelina shoved away from him and he laughed. So, as he watched she did wipe her nose on his pillow. That done, she jerked it out from under his head and hit him with it. He grabbed for her and they tumbled off the bed together. The carpet did not protect them from the floor underneath.

“We can still run.”

He shook his head. He was right, but a tiny part of her still hated his denial of her offer. Jory stood and began to get dressed.

“Come on. I want to go somewhere.”

“I thought we were staying here?”

“Please, Marcelina?”

As if he had to ask. As if she would deny him anything. Except a life. She’d signed his death warrant. Guilt gnawed at her so she dressed and followed him from the house. She’d thought they’d go farther, but he only led her back to their old clubhouse. He climbed up first.

Which was good because when her head popped up through the trapdoor she froze with a gasp. The first thing to start working again was her nose. At least a hundred flowers were scattered on the floor and in buckets and vases along the walls. Two small lanterns lit the space and he’d hung red fabric on the walls. On their small table sat a collection of comic books.

Her fingers threatened to give free so she hauled herself up the rest of the way. Once she’d closed the trapdoor, Jory walked across the carpet of flowers towards her. More tears came as he took her hands in his.

“Marcelina, I know it won’t mean anything to anyone else, but it would mean the world to me if you would marry me. Now. Here. I’m not afraid of what’s to come.”

She was terrified. He squeezed her fingers and she nodded. They crossed the flowers and he knelt down at the table. She followed. In the back of her mind she wondered how, despite him always doing whatever crazy ideas she had, she always followed him for the important things. A smile broke the hold her tears had when she saw the stacks of Claw comics.

Jory laid his hand atop them and she followed suit. They joined their other hands together and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Marcelina. My Marcelina. Quit laughing.” His eyes narrowed and she tried to be quiet. A giggle escaped at the end, but she managed. “Don’t be scared, Marcelina. I’m with you. I am always with you. Marcelina Beatrycze Couch, I love you and I’m yours.”

Dehydration was a real possibility if she couldn’t get her tears under control. Jory was silent as she struggled to get some control over her voice. She sucked in a deep breath and tried to find anything to say.

“Jory. I- It’s not fair. You had time to prepare!” He smirked, but also squeezed her fingers. It wouldn’t matter what she said. She only had to say something. “I love you. I always have. Nothing will keep us apart. Jory Daveth Couch, I love you and I’m yours.”

They didn’t rush this time. She would die any day now, but this memory would see her through whatever hell she was sent to in life and death. The rest of the afternoon they read old comics and made love. If death hadn’t hung over their heads it would have been perfect.

Towards evening they finally dressed again and climbed down, pockets stuffed with flowers. The neighborhood was quiet, everyone knew now. The announcement had reached even into their cocoon. Jory held her hand tight as they walked to the street and sat on the curb.

Marcelina thought about going home, but her mama would know. Siemowit had better take care of her now. There was no use going home and arguing with her brother. Instead, she laid her head on Jory’s shoulder and they sat to wait for the government van driving down the street.

Behind it a black car followed. Marcelina stood and pulled Jory up when the car stopped. She would not face him sitting down. He would not know how scared she felt.

“Marcelina Mencher.”

“Couch. I am Marcelina Couch.”

The man from the car smiled at her. His attention turned to Jory and he inclined his head. Jory did nothing.

“Mr. Couch. You may go inside. Your name did not appear.”

“No.”

Marcelina squeezed his hand tighter. He could go. He would live. Only, she knew he wouldn’t. If the man from the car thought to break them he was an idiot. She knew he was an idiot. And cruel.

Jory would follow Marcelina to their deaths.

And Marcelina would find a way to kill the President Dictator before she died. 

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31 Days - Day 13

 

Marcelina closed her chemistry book and let it fall with a soft thud to the floor. Studying was a waste and she had no idea why Jory insisted on continuing the charade. Any day now conscription would be called and none of their education would matter. Bullet sponges didn’t need to know anything but how to bleed.

Jory did not take the hint. Not even when she sighed. So, she slid down onto her back and rested her head in his lap. Eyes closed, she felt his fingers in her hair as she heard the page turn. Pages. As in books. So old fashioned.

“Read that last part to me?”

She liked listening to him even when she couldn’t understand what he said. He may as well have been speaking ancient Sumerian. Once, tipsy on stolen wine, she’d said she could listen to him recite the phone book. The next time they were alone in their old clubhouse he’d sat on her and read from the phone directory.

“Jory?” she asked three pages later.

“Almost done with this section.”

“I’m naked under my clothes.”

“Scandalous!” He set his book down. His hand left her hair and slid to her shoulder. “Marcelina?”

“Yes.”

“So am I.”

She hadn’t planned on this. Not truly.

Not exactly.

No more than she’d planned on this every time they’d been alone for the last year and a half. Something had always happened. Interruptions were common, but tonight they shouldn’t have to worry. She’d snuck out and they’d double checked that their meager lamp light couldn’t be seen through the curtains hung over the open windows. To study undisturbed.

“Are you sure?”

Marcelina sat up and rested on her knees beside him. He watched as she began to unbutton her shirt. In the dim light he might have missed her blush, but she doubted it from the way he grinned at her.

“Have you done this before?” She hated to ask. Because if he had she didn’t know what she’d do.

“No.” He grinned at her again. “Well, the one time with Charlotte, but she doesn’t count.”

“You!” Marcelina pushed him to the sleeping bags under them and pinned his arms down. It wasn’t hard because he laughed. She started laughing when he pulled a hand free and began to tickle her.

She kissed him before she lost all her breath from laughing. The next kiss, or maybe the one after, took his breath away. She stopped keeping track afterwards.

After their awkward fumblings, they curled up around each other as the chill night air began to seep into their bodies. Marcelina was surprised she hadn’t noticed the cold before. Then Jory slid against her as he pulled an old army blanket over them and she remembered why she hadn’t noticed the cold.

“That was way better than with Charlotte.”

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t kiss her.”

“What?”

“When we were nine. I never kissed Charlotte. She said I could. She wanted me to. I never did.”

“Then why did you say what you did? About her saying I would cry.”

The day had left an impression. Not only because of her black eye. Marcelina shivered when his fingers traced her spine.

“Because she did say it. She said even if I didn’t kiss her she’d say I did and you would cry.”

“I really don’t like Charlotte.”

“The feeling is mutual. She’s always been jealous.”

“Why?”

“Because I never wanted her.”

“Oh.”

Jory’s lips quieted hers. She didn’t mind. Nor did she mind when his mouth left hers to explore other places.

“It’s always been you, Marcelina. Ever since you puked on my shoes in kindergarten.”

Only Jory could say that and not ruin the mood. So, she found a way to thank him for being perfect. Twice.


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31 Days - Day 12

 

There were twelve people in front of her. Two of them were family. Marcelina stared at the booths along the back wall and wished Jory were here. His family’s number had been so much lower they were done and gone by now. The line shifted forward and she shuffled along the wood floor.

Siemowit had pressed his uniform the night before and stood at the front of their family. As if he were taking tata’s place. Marcelina’s eyes narrowed as she focused her gaze on his back. Laser eyes, she thought. If she had laser eyes she could burn holes in his uniform. Set the whole thing on fire. Not only would he be miserable, but they would have to evacuate.

The line moved again and Marcelina took her mama’s hand. It felt so frail. Ever since tata had died last year her mama had begun to shrink in on herself. She tried not to think about it because she could not think about it without crying. The last thing she wanted to do, especially here and now, was to cry.

Too close now. Siemowit would be next in line. The family ahead of them went to the booths and slid the sheer, plastic curtains closed. The curtains were new. His idea. Because everyone should take pride in what they did. Why hide the glorious process?

Marcelina’s stomach fluttered. This morning she’d forced herself to eat breakfast and instantly regretted it. Siemowit’s preening and puffing had not helped. There was a lot of that from him in part because Marcelina had not been bothering him. Her mama no longer had the strength to deal with their arguing.

Siemowit confused Marcelina’s filial concern with capitulation. Someday, she told Jory, Siemowit would know she had not allowed him to win. Jory worried, but he worried about everything she said. Again she wished he were here. She would be less nervous.

The family in front of them stepped from their booths and walked towards the exit. The small cubicle between them and the door would allow them to speak directly to him. Well, listen to his message. Marcelina did not think he would speak to everyone. Or anyone.

Siemowit took mama’s hand and helped her to the booth. Marcelina found herself glaring at him once more. He only helped mama because it left Marcelina on her own. Well, if he thought she couldn’t do it he was wrong.

Her feet resisted and Siemowit was closing mama’s curtain and stepping into his own booth by the time Marcelina reached hers. The curtain rings rattled as her fingers shook. Once it was closed she turned to the flat screen.

It took her five tries to enter her social security number. The screen was too bright and the noise from the people waiting behind her made her nervous. As words flashed by her eyes she felt her stomach turn over. More words and her whole body began to tremble.

“Press your palm against the glass.” The mechanical voice was followed by a beeping noise. She did not know if it would stop beeping.

Siemowit’s words from breakfast left her stomach churning. On and on about how proud she should be to get to vote. Her first vote and for the new president. Wouldn’t he be thankful?

No, she’d wanted to say. He wouldn’t care. Why would he? There were no names on the ballot screen. Only a place to lay her palm so her vote would be counted for the president.

Marcelina clutched her stomach as her head throbbed. All she had to do was lift her hand and it would be over. Not hard. Everyone else had done it. Siemowit and mama were done now and waiting for her. Except, her hand would not lift. Instead, it clutched her stomach as this morning’s sausage and porridge threatened to remove themselves.

No.

Siemowit would smirk forever.

She couldn’t be sick. She wouldn’t be sick. Eyes squeezed closed now she lifted her hand and touched the panel with the tips of her fingers. The instant she felt the cool glass the room spun.

Unable to stop herself, Marcelina threw up her breakfast on the ballot screen. The beeping stopped. So, there was a comfort in that fact. The curtain rings shook as the plastic was pulled back. Marcelina stumbled back and closed her eyes again. Everyone stared at her. Well, why wouldn’t they? Maybe they would chalk it up to excitement? Her first vote.

It was not excitement. It was horror. Why did she have to vote? She couldn’t do it for him. The man who’d promised her death. The man who was the reason she knew she had one, two years at most before conscription and death. Her eyes opened to slits and she wondered why it was so bright. Marcelina backed away, but was stopped by a wall of flesh.

She turned and looked up into the blank stare of a guard. He grabbed her wrist and she would have sworn she heard bones crackle. A handheld ballot screen was there suddenly and he slapped her hand against it. A green light flashed and before she was sick again he whipped it out of the way and left.

Tears stung her eyes. A hand closed over her shoulder and she was pulled around to face a furious looking Siemowit. Behind him was mama. She said nothing. Not even when Siemowit hauled her across the room to the exit. He shoved her into the cubicle and slammed the door.

“Hello, Marcelina.”

She said nothing.

“Thank you for your vote.”

Still nothing.

“I have not forgotten my promise, Miss Mencher. I will collect you for conscription. No matter my uniform.”

Marcelina lost the last of her breakfast and quite possibly dinner.

The screen went black and she fumbled for the door. Let Siemowit see their mama home. He wanted to be the good son. Let him start trying. She would go clean up and be gone before they were home.

 

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31 Days - Day 11

The music was too loud and the lights were too bright. The combination did not leave Marcelina wanting to dance. Instead, it made her want to retreat. All of the doors out of the gym were watched. Volunteer parents here to make sure their darlings did not do anything unapproved of at the dance. She hadn’t wanted to come tonight.

Wouldn’t have come, but Jory had bought tickets and said he wanted to take his girlfriend. He’d never called her that before. They’d been friends for ten years. Sure, the last year or so they’d been friends who kissed, but neither had ever said that word. So, Marcelina had dug in the attic for one of her babcia’s old dresses. Before she’d gotten old, her babcia had been beautiful. Marcelina felt a twinge of jealousy every time she saw the old photos of her.

Painstaking alterations, bandaged fingers, and two frantic calls to Natalia had left her with the result she wore. Compared to everyone else the simple red dress with gold lace trim around the collar was old and dull. She knew this, because several people told her. Charlotte had sneered from across the room, but Marcelina had only laughed. Charlotte may have hated what she wore, but she mostly hated Marcelina for a different reason.

The reason sat next to her in a black suit. He’d been by her side all evening. They had tried to dance once, but dissolved into laughter. Neither of them were very good despite the mandatory lessons in school. They’d tried to talk, but it was too loud. So, they sat next to each other and occasionally spelled something out in sign language. At least the bright light made that possible.

She wanted to kiss him, but that was Not Allowed. They held hands and sat with their chairs touching. Once, he’d put his arm around her, but a chaperone had stopped that as soon as they were noticed. Their hands, clasped together, rested on his leg. His leg rested against hers. It was enough for now.

At first she’d thought the trembling came from the bass turned up too loud. Then she watched the tables rattle. Before she could say anything, Jory was on his feet. She stood as well. It was that or release his hand.

The sirens went off.

Kids screamed.

Marcelina and Jory both rolled their eyes and tugged each other towards the exit. Perfect. There was a twinge, a small one, at the thought. The sirens meant something bad, but it also got them out of this terrible dance. The building was chaos as kids forgot their drills and parents tried to herd them outside.

Someone screamed.

Someone else fainted. Or, at least pretended to faint.

Marcelina and Jory ducked around the corner and raced towards the stairs at the end of the hall. They should be going outside with the others, but instead they raced down darkened halls towards the stairs to the roof. Even the red blink of cameras was missing so it had to be serious.

The door flew open with a bang that was sure to be missed in the chaos. They closed it with more care. Having already planned to be up here their stuff was carefully tucked between two soot stained chimney stacks.

“What is it?”

Jory shook his head and pointed.

Planes flew overhead and in the distance there was a crimson burst of light followed by another tremor. Jory’s arms wrapped around her and Marcelina hated he would feel her shaking. She should be stronger.

“It’s the factories. Did your father?”

“Tata worked late.”

He would hear the whisper. Over the explosion of sound as the factory disappeared into a collapsed wreck of flames and concrete he heard her words. When her knees gave out he helped her down to the roof and she worried about the stains it would leave on her dress. The dress she would burn anyway.

Jory held her as she rocked back and forth, crying because she knew. Her tata was gone. It was only her and mama now. Siemowit did not count in the least.

“I have to go home.”

The words were a death sentence. She knew it. He knew it. All of their plans were for tonight. If they didn’t go tonight there was little chance they could pull it off.

“You should still go.” Marcelina grabbed Jory’s arms and stared at him. “Go, Jory. If you’re ok…I’ll be ok.”

“You know I’m not going without you.”

“I know. Because you’re dumb.”

“No, you’re dumb.”

“I love you.”

“Yea, well, I love you too. Even if you’re dumb.”

She couldn’t, quite, smile, but the tears stopped. Even though she’d said it, she couldn’t quite bring herself to move just yet. Jory sat with her and they watched helicopters fly by and ignored the announcements from circling cars for everyone to stay in their homes. Nothing to fear.

In a way, the announcement was correct. What else did she have to fear? Marcelina stood and headed for the edge of the roof. Onto the ground she tossed their bags.

“Want me to go first?” Jory asked as he joined her at the edge of tarpaper and brick.

“You only want to be able to look up my dress.”

Even in the dark his fair, freckled skin visibly blushed. She felt magnanimous in her freedom from fear. Marcelina pressed against him and listened to his breathing change. Not tonight. If this hadn’t happened, maybe, but not tonight.

As if he sensed her thought he pulled away after a short kiss. Marcelina sat on the edge of the roof and watched him swing his legs over. He climbed down and when he was halfway to the ground she began to work her way down the wall as well.

They walked home, ignoring the main roads, and holding hands as sirens and warnings continued to go off around them. 


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31 Days - Day 10

No one ever came up into the attic. Except when they brought boxes up here and hurried to leave. Thick dust covered everything, but Marcelina didn’t mind. The fact no one came up here was what mattered. No longer short enough to walk, she’d crouched down to make it to the far corner.

Once there she’d checked the fort for signs of tampering. If Siemowit knew they came up here he’d tattle. Everything looked ok under the stacked boxes and old sheets strung across them. The sheets helped protect the sleeping bags and snacks from dust. They also made the little space stuffier in the summer, but it was winter now and the extra protection from the drafty window would be nice.

“You know, I was in our attic once,” Jory said after they were inside the fort.

Marcelina shoved a pillow under her butt before she sat on the sleeping bag. Jory dug out the box of snacks, most donated by him, and joined her. When they were kids they could share the pillow. They could still share the scratchy blanket they wrapped around their shoulders.

“There was nothing in there.”

Marcelina listened to the quiet crinkle of a candy wrapper as he opened it. Having never been in his attic she would take his word. After he tore the candy in half and she had her own sweet, sticky piece, she spoke.

“What do you do when someone dies?”

“I don’t know.”

“We box them up and pretend like we don’t miss them.”

He kissed her. It was hard to feel the weight of sadness when they kissed. They had definitely gotten better since their first. Although, sometimes it was still awkward and they’d end up giggling. Like the first time they’d used their tongues. They’d not kissed again for weeks after that time.

“Do you ever open them?”

“No.”

“Do you want to open some?”

He’d never asked before. They’d been sneaking up here for years, but this had never come up. Maybe he wondered what stuff of hers they’d store after she was dead. She would miss him when she died in a few years. Not enough time.

“I- I don’t know.”

“If you want, we can.” Chocolate, sticky fingers entwined. “Or we could kiss some more.”

“Or both.”

“You never want to decide, Marcelina.”

“I want to do everything.” Because she only had a few years.

They wiped their fingers off on a ratty towel and crawled from the fort. Herbert’s stuff was up close to the trapdoor. At first, she thought of going there, but the pain was still so fresh. Instead, she squeezed through carefully labeled boxes to reach dziadzio’s stuff. His name was on the box and she traced the faded, markered letters with her thumb.

After she settled onto her butt she pulled the top box into her lap. Jory sat beside her and before she opened it she kissed his cheek. He grinned at her and her heart stopped. Once, she’d mentioned him to her mother and something must have given her away because she had a three-hour lecture on how she was too young for anything and better not be doing anything. Marcelina had told Jory the next day between fumbling, innocent kisses and he’d laughed and grinned at her that way.

“What are these?”

“His journals.”

Jory leafed through one before setting it down with a caution he used for her sake.

“It’s in Polish.”

“Well, duh, dumbee. He was Polish.”

“So are you, but you write in English.”

“Yea, but I read Polish too.”

“So, what’d he say?”

“I’m not telling.”

Marcelina lifted the book up and read the first page. Jory’s fingers thrummed with impatience on the dusty floor. Behind the journal she hid a smile.

“Jory!” His name was a squeal as he tackled her and began to tickle her as he held her on the floor.

“Tell me.”

“No,” she laughed. Her fingers loosened on the book and it fell to the floor. Before she could grab it he kissed her again. This was different than earlier because she felt him, warm and familiar, atop her. If he tried anything… He wouldn’t. But if he did.

“Read it, Marcelina,” he said when his face hovered over hers.

Normally, she would watch him talk. His lips smiled when talking about almost anything and she loved the freckles that danced across his cheeks. This time, in the dust and dim light, she watched the way their hair looked when it touched. She loved his red hair and had less affection for her own heavy, black locks.

“Now?” she asked. “Read it now?”

“No. Read it later and then you can tell me what you want to share.”

“Then what will we do now?”

“Comic quiz.”

Marcelina laughed and shoved him off her. It was that or kiss him again and she knew, somehow, that it would be dangerous to kiss him now. Her mother wasn’t entirely wrong when she said they were too young. For now. Marcelina had promised herself she would not be like Natalia and wait until it was too late.

“And when you lose?” she asked as they dusted each other off and replaced the box. The journal she carried back to the fort.

“Ha! I won’t lose.”

“When you lose,” Marcelina repeated with a smirk, “You have to come to the reservoir with me tomorrow.”

Jory laughed and threw himself onto his stomach in their fort as he reached for his stack of comics. He would lose. He always lost. Sometimes she worried he’d let her win, but the one time she’d asked, years ago, he’d punched her. Losing to a girl, he’d said, was better than cheating. 

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31 Days - Day 9

 

The invitation had never come, but Marcelina had expected the lack of arrival. Jory had warned her in advance. Although, she hadn’t told her parents. Instead, she’d shuffled around the house and whimpered whenever she looked at the calendar. Three hours of sighs, slammed doors, and sniffling earned her freedom.

Marcelina grabbed her bike and pedaled as fast as her recent growth spurt allowed. Every time her legs came up, her knees hit the handlebars. By the time she was halfway to the Super Funtime Land her knees were bruised. The jarring, endless loop of laughing clowns hurt her head already and she only caught the faintest whiff of noise.

How had Jory’s parents decided this was the place to bring him? He turned thirteen today, not six. Probably Charlotte’s mother’s idea. Her parents had become such good friends with his. It made her stomach flutter like the time she’d eaten bad fish when she thought of the time they spent together. Which was why, when she put her hand in her pocket, she was comforted by the crinkle of paper.

“He likes me.”

Sometimes, when she was lying in bed and she missed everyone and was frozen in fear she would say those words. Her. Not as a substitute to Zuza because he’d never known her. Not as someone second best. Her heart beat faster than the hurried bike ride would account for now. The inescapable truth was, if she had to live without Jory, she wouldn’t. How could she? It was a heavy truth to bear at thirteen, but she bore it alone.

She stashed her bike in the bushes and crept towards the parking lot. Her and Jory had been doing this for years so she sat and waited until she saw a large group leaving. Kids tore off wristbands and tossed them into the return bags near the exits. As they milled she stood and paced her steps evenly.

At the bag she glanced around and then drove her hand into it as fast as she could. A handful of wristbands came with her and she retreated to the bushes where her bike was hidden. Out of the dozen or so she’d snatched only one would work. Strapped to her wrist she dropped the others on the ground near the bag.

The group was piling into cars so she raced up to the entrance.

“Welcome to Super Funtime Land, the best place in the whole country. We give thanks to our supreme President.”

Ugh. Marcelina glanced behind her and then back at the bored looking girl in uniform.

“I’m so, so sorry! I left my inhaler inside. Please. Can I run in and get it? They’re leaving in a minute.”

The girl glanced down at Marcelina’s wristband and shrugged.

It was always this easy. Not that she blamed them. If she had to listen to the screeching of spoiled kids underwritten by maniacal, mechanical clown laughter she’d not care either. Marcelina rushed, drawing in great gulps of air as she went. The trick was to pull off the delicate balance of, “I need to breathe better” versus “I need medical attention.”

There were small signs indicating parties and after searching she found Jory’s. She couldn’t get in to the party, but she could lurk nearby. Normally, impatience would win, but this was Jory and his birthday. For him she’d do almost anything.

“Psst.”

Did her smile seem too large? Marcelina couldn’t help it. Jory peeked out of a door marked employees only. He waved his hand and she darted over to squeeze between him and the doorframe. Despite her mother’s constant reminders, she was too young she’d begun to feel something when her and Jory touched. Not that they touch touched. Neither of them wanted that from the each other.

Even in the dim light she could see his worried expression. The grin normally ready for her was nowhere to be seen. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Marcelina didn’t think, only moved, and Jory was in her arms and she hugged her best friend until he squeaked. It didn’t work. Until he squirmed away she made no move to let him go.

“What is it?”

“It’s my mom.”

“Is she ok?” Marcelina did not like Jory’s mom. The feeling was mutual. Although, Marcelina had cause and his mom did not.

“She’s pregnant.”

Marcelina shook her head. No. No, no, no, no. It couldn’t be. This time he reached for her and they stood in the dim supply closet, clinging to each other, as the world moved on outside the door.

“Some government man came a couple months ago, I guess. Said they could get something if they had another kid.”

“It’s my fault.”

“What? Don’t be dumb, Marcelina.”

“It is! It’s my fault. Jory, I am so sorry. It’s my fault. All mine.”

“Ugh. Don’t be dumb, Marcelina.”

“You said that.” The words were mumbled and tear streaked, but they both managed a smile.

“It’s because of Herbert, isn’t it?”

She managed a nod. He hugged her tighter. What could she say? Marcelina rarely lost her words. Her family said she had too many. Once, when she was thought to be in bed, she heard her mother complain she had all her dziadzio’s words as well. It had made her happy to hear it.

“Marcelina, it’s ok. Just because we can be conscripted doesn’t mean we will be.”

“You’re wrong.”

“You don’t know.”

“That man. He said he’d come for me. I was ok with it. I mean, I’m scared. So scared. But, I thought it would just be me and so what? You’re the only one who’ll miss me.”

Jory did not, she noted, argue the point.

“I was ok. Because you would remember me. And not be with Charlotte because I would come back as an upiór and you would be miserable!”

“Idiot.”

“Shut up!”

“Make me!”

So, she did. Marcelina had no practical knowledge of kissing. The contact of her lips against his made her palms sweaty. It could also have been nerves. Had he kissed other girls? Would he find her woefully inadequate and laugh?

She did not know the answer to the first question, but he did not laugh. Not even when her thin pressed lips pulled away from his surprised ones.

“Happy birthday,” she whispered.

“Was that my present?”

Marcelina noted how his fingers had laced with hers. Now then, was the time to do it. Either speak or be a coward. She would not be a coward. Never.

“My dziadzio met my babcia when they were thirteen. He said he knew right away. Before he even kissed her, he knew she was the one.”

Jory stared at her, but his fingers tightened in the tangled digits of their two hands.

“I love you Jory Daveth Couch. I love you and I will not let them hurt you.”

This time, he kissed her. It was still awkward so she thought he’d not much more experience than her, if any. None of that mattered.

“I love you, Marcelina Beatrycze Mencher.”

That mattered. 

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31 Days - Day 8

“Happy birthday to you.”

“Happy birthday to you.”

“Happy birthday, Marcelina.”

She only half listened to the singing. The singing was only important because it would be followed by the sekacz. Her mother only made it on her birthday because she said it was too much trouble. Marcelina was fine with getting it once a year, but she wished it weren’t when she had to share with so many.

Not that she’d invited a lot of people. Jory was here, of course, and a few kids she could stand. No Charlotte. Not that Charlotte would have accepted the invitation. Well, she might have since Jory was here.

As the birthday girl she was given the first piece of sekacz. Marcelina did not wait for the others before she ate hers. As the birthday girl, she could do what she wanted. No matter what Siemowit had said earlier.

He was a lost cause. Whatever they’d put in the water (all the urban legends said it was true) he’d drank twice what he needed. Siemowit lived and breathed the government these days and always told her she should be more thankful.

Thankful for Herbert’s death. Thankful that her own was only a few years away. Thankful for nothing. She’s growled and only the knowledge her parents would cancel her party kept her first from connecting with his face. He’d known it and retreated to some meeting or other.

An excellent birthday gift, she thought.

“Here.”

Marcelina looked up and saw Jory across from her in the grass. The rest of her guests had been left on their own the whole, short party. They’d seemed to accept her abandonment of them.

Jory held out his sekacz. He grinned as her eyes widened. She looked down at the cake and shook her head.

“Aww. Come on. Happy birthday and all.”

“I should say no.”

“But you won’t.”

In response, she took the plate. Jory laughed and scooted closer so their knees touched. It worked to shield her from her mother’s scolding for eating her guest’s cake. In thanks, she broke off a piece and held it out to him. He grinned again before he leaned even closer and plucked the cake from her fingers.

“What would Charlotte say?” she teased. “She’s always telling everyone you’re her boyfriend.” At twelve, her mother had informed her, she was too young to use that word. Which was fine by Marcelina. Jory was her best friend. She wouldn’t be a girl like Charlotte.

“Charlotte’s a pain,” Jory moaned. “She’s always bugging me. I mean, she’s ok, I guess, but she’s always bugging me.”

“You said that.”

“Always. Bugging. Meeeeeeee.”

“Quit it!”

Marcelina flung the last bite of cake right at Jory, but he ducked.

“You wasted cake!”

“I did not!”

“You did! So I am not giving you a birthday present.”

“Fine. I didn’t want one.”

“Liar.”

“Marcelina! Come here! It is time to say goodbye.”

“Ugh.”

Jory leapt to his feet and held out his hands. Marcelina let him help her up. He pulled his hands away and ran off, but he left a scrap of paper behind. Marcelina shoved it into her pocket.

There was no chance to look at it until she was getting ready for bed.

Happy birthday, Marcelina. You’re the best. Charlotte is stupid. I will always like you first.

She had a year to try to top his present, but she had no idea how she would manage.

 


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31 Days - Day 7

The thunderstorm had been a welcome reprieve from the heat of the day. It had also ruined the outing. Children ran screaming for the bus as if a single drop of rain would sizzle through them. Marcelina thought it all amusing.

“Babies,” she said.

Despite the dress her mother had shoved her into before school, Marcelina had climbed her favorite tree in the park. With the thunderstorm she knew she should get down, but she didn’t want to go back to school. Every day, more and more, she hated the grey brick building. Grey brick and blinking red lights. Because the cameras had increased. They were everywhere.

“You should get down.”

Jory sat on the branch under hers. His grin made her smile. She didn’t let him see the whole smile because he might misinterpret the smugness. Well, he might see it. There was no way to interpret it wrong.

Charlotte had wanted him to go paddling on the lake with her and her friends, but he’d stayed with Marcelina. Charlotte, wavy hair and perfectly pressed pink dress, had flounced away. Likely she was on the bus, squealing about her hair.

“I want to see the storm.”

“Idiot.”

“Brat.”

“I’m coming up.”

Marcelina scooted out farther on the branch to let Jory get up beside her. He reached for her hand and they swung their legs together as they watched the clouds move swiftly across the sky. It was hard to see with the leaves. If they were higher they could see better, but she knew.

Knew that if she suggested it he would insist they climb down. He was always looking out for her. It was why she tried not to worry about Charlotte all the time. Jory was hers. He had been since kindergarten. Even their parents could not keep them apart.

Only one thing would.

Conscription was only six, seven at most, years away. Jory would not have to worry. His family knew the right people. Plus, he was an only child. No family could have their only child taken. Marcelina’s only hope was Siemowit. If he had some fall from grace and wound up with the ground troops she would be safe.

Except, she wouldn’t. The captain still haunted her. He wouldn’t care about the rules.

Marcelina looked down as the tree swayed in a heavy gust of wind. There was one way to avoid it. If it worked.

Jory squeezed her hand and she looked up to see him grinning. 

“I have something for you.”

He pulled his hand away from her and reached into his pocket. Marcelina’s breath caught as he rocked forward. If he fell…

Except, he didn’t. Thankfully. Because then she would have fallen with him. Jory was her best friend and she would go anywhere with him.

“Here.”

He held his fist out and she opened her hand so he could lay something in the flat of her palm. As soon as his hand moved she looked down. The wind gusted and the tree shook, but Jory grabbed her hand before she could drop the present.

“No way,” she breathed. This was impossible. Even Jory’s family wasn’t this well off.

“How?”

“I told you I had friends other than you, dork.”

Marcelina, heedless of the potential fall and subsequent death, lunged for her best friend and hugged him. Worried about dropping the gift, she pulled away long enough to drape it around her neck. It was the best gift ever.

“You are the best friend ever. Even if you hang out with Charlotte.”

Jory groaned and reached into the neck of his t-shirt. Marcelina expected him to pull out a different pendant. Instead, to match the one she wore, he had a Claw symbol etched on a silver coin. The ads said they’d only made a thousand of them and he’d gotten two!

“I love you, Jory Couch. I always will.”

“Yea, well, I love you too, Marcelina. But don’t be weird about it.” He was quiet as the rain shifted direction. “And don’t tell Charlotte.”

Marcelina laughed.

 

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31 Days - Day 6

The gray dress was too tight across the shoulders. Shiny black shoes pinched at her feet. Worst of all, she wasn’t allowed to cover her face so her runny nose, hopelessly red and snotty, was visible to all. It was embarrassing. Embarrassing and too true. She did not want anyone to see her like this, but her mother had refused to allow her a veil.

Marcelina sat at the front of the church with the rest of her family. Herbert was being given a state funeral. They’d unlocked the church for the day, but it was ugly inside. Gone were the stained glass windows she’d viewed only in secret pictures her babcia had shown her. The rich, shiny wooden pews were replaced with utilitarian metal benches. She hated it.

Marcelina ran the scratchy, gray wool sleeve of her dress across her nose. Siemowit elbowed her afterwards, but she ignored him. He did not understand because he would never be conscripted. No, now that he was thirteen he’d enlisted in the Presidential Honor Core. They never fought. Only paraded around in special uniforms and turned in dissenters. Dziadzio would be embarrassed. Because he was dead, Marcelina was furious for him.

The state appointed speaker droned on. None of his words mattered. Herbert had been killed in a fight that didn’t matter. The same man who had come to take him away had shown up with the news. All so he could smirk at Marcelina. On the way out, he’d reminded her of his promise to come take her. Her family had mistaken her locking herself in her room as grief. It had been terror.

Marcelina rubbed at her eyes and stood up.

“Sit down,” her father whispered.

“I have to pee.”

Siemowit’s eyes narrowed as he squared his back. If he tried to take her to the toilet she would pinch him. Luckily for him, he only glared as she slid down the bench and hurried down the center aisle. Who was she bothering? No one was here but them.

Three wrong turns later she found the bathrooms on the lower level of the church. Marcelina locked the door and sat on the floor. With her knees to her chest she rocked back and forth as she tumbled into the hole in her heart. Why couldn’t it have been Siemowit? She would not have begrudged Zuza him. How dare she get Herbert?

The basement was quiet other than a rattle of pipes. She screamed. Hiccupped sobs broke through her screams and she stood up and walked to the mirror.

She looked ugly. Nose dripping, mouth hanging open, and eyes too red to be human. She hated the way she looked now so she slammed her fist into the glass. The tinkling shatter of glass as it hit the sink and the floor made her feel better. Even the pain from her split knuckles didn’t hurt.

“That was not wise.”

Marcelina spun around, but no one was there. Nothing in here would protect her. She walked to the closed stall door and kicked it open. No one was there.

“The kitchen.”

Should she go? Well, she wasn’t a coward. Maybe she was too old to believe she was a comic book hero, The Claw outstripped Ranger One in her esteem these days, but she was no coward. Marcelina found thin, harsh toilet paper to wrap her cut knuckles and watched as the blood seeped through.

Her feet led her down the hall despite her never having been here before. A pinging noise accompanied the scent of tea and she hurried to see what awaited her. It could be her death, but at this point she was indifferent to the idea.

“No one’s going to die. Although, it was a near thing.” The voice belonged to a woman. Marcelina stared at her, knowing it was rude. The woman’s face was covered in scar tissue and she was missing one eye. The scars ran down her neck, she noticed, and left her wondering if they were all over.

“They are. I was burned. It was supposed to be until I was dead, but I managed to crawl out.”

Marcelina shivered. “The government did it, didn’t they?”

“He did say you were astute. Of course, you’re also angry right now, aren’t you?”

“I hate them all.”

“Excellent. Our mutual friend will be pleased.”

“Who?”

“Ah, not so astute.”

Marcelina scowled and clenched her hands.

The scarred woman poured tea into a battered tin cup. She poured a second cup and added sugar to them both. Marcelina, wary and still annoyed, crept closer and sat at the counter. The tea received a sniff, but she didn’t think anything was wrong, so she drank it.

“I am surprised your little friend is not with you.”

“Jory is not little!” Who else would she mean? “And he couldn’t. Family only. Just my parents and me.” A sip of tea was followed by a slurred, “And Siemowit. He’s a jerk.”

The cup was caught before it fell from her unresponsive hand. Marcelina tried to stand, but tumbled back off her stool. The scarred woman caught her as easily as the cup. Sleep whispered to her and as Marcelina succumbed she felt the toilet paper being picked off her knuckles. It made them bleed again.

When she woke up she was lying on the floor of the bathroom. Her knuckles bled no longer, but she rubbed at her eyes to try to clear her head. A knock on the door had her sit up too quickly and she yelled as the top of her head hit the bottom of the sink. One hand rubbed her head as she stumbled to the door.

“We have to go,” Siemowit said as soon as the door opened. His mouth fell open and he stepped back.

“I don’t look that bad.”

“What did you do?”

“Shut up, butthead.”

Marcelina shoved past him to head back to their parents.

 


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31 Days - Day 5

Marcelina stood at the corner of the building and tapped her foot back against the cornerstone as she waited. Right around the corner, the red blinking of the camera taunted her. It told her she could not step onto the playground. Not yet. The time had not come yet.

It was not her fault she’d finished her test and grown bored. Why should she be forced to sit and read some stupid book when she could be outside on the first nice day since they returned to school after the President’s Winter Celebration? If she stayed where she was, she would be ok until the bell rang.

Once the bell rang, she would be able to talk to Jory. She had to talk to Jory. After what she’d heard this morning he needed to be spoken to so she could learn the truth. If what Samantha had said was true…

Marcelina did not know what she’d do if what she’d heard was the truth.

A bell rang inside and she heard feet marching to the door. Soon she could slip in with the rest of them and it would be fine. Once she did that she could find Jory. The eldest students, by grace of being the eldest, came out first. Marcelina shrank back as she saw Siemowit. He would tattle. It was his last year here and he was intent on making it miserable for her.

Once Jory’s class appeared she slid closer to the stairs. His feet touched the playground and she grabbed his hand and pulled him backwards. They were probably ok here. The stairs would block the camera on the door.

“What’s the deal?”

Marcelina thought he sounded guilty. Maybe he even looked guilty. She didn’t know guilt on someone else.

“Samantha said you kissed Charlotte this morning in the library.”

“Samantha is an idiot.”

“So is Charlotte, but you kissed her. Didn’t you? How could you?”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Why did you do it?”

“I never said I did.”

Marcelina blinked because Jory looked watery when she stared at him.

“Charlotte was right.”

“About being stupid?”

Jory scowled at her and she ran her hand across her eyes, surprised to find them wet.

“No, she said you would cry when she found out.”

Marcelina’s lips pressed together. She shoved Jory backwards and then stood right in front of him. His eyes grew wide.

“I did not cry.”

“Did to.”

She watched as her arm shot out and her first connected with his mouth. Her first thought was she should apologize. Her second thought was that if he told, she could be kicked out of school. Not that she minded. However, her parents would be furious.

So busy contemplating the future, Marcelina forgot the present. Jory’s punch hit her in the chin and she was embarrassed at the noise she made. Not that it stopped her from shoving him. By the time they were pulled apart they both had bloody lips.

Jory had lost a tooth.

Marcelina had a black eye.

Both of their parents forbid them to ever say a word to one another again.

That night, they both downloaded sign language lessons from the internet.

 

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31 Days - Day 4

The power had been out for a week.

As the entire neighborhood sat in darkness they listened to the thunder of great guns overhead. A news report shortly before the televisions died had said the enemies from the west had come to tear land away from the rightful owners. Marcelina disbelieved the news in general. How had they even gotten this far?

The soldiers had come around and informed everyone there were to be no lights. No communication devices were to be used. Nothing. Marcelina was bored. She could not even do homework without light. Everyone sat huddled in the living room as if being together was better. Unsure why dying together was preferred to alone she’d retreated to her room. Besides, no one had been by her dziadzio when he’d died.

Marcelina did not want to think about him. It made her sad. He was in heaven now, with Zuza. By now he probably loved her more because she’d been perfect.

Her head shook and she quietly shoved her desk against her door. The wind gusted against the heavy curtains when she opened the window. A quiet squeak seemed too loud in the oppressive silence of the night. Marcelina slipped out into the shadows and closed her window almost all the way. No one should notice.

Jory would be home. Everyone was home. No one was allowed out on the street, but she didn’t need to use the street to get to him. They had a secret pathway between yards to get to each other.

Once safely in his fenced backyard she crept towards the house and threw a toy soldier at his window. That done, she retreated to the clubhouse in the tree. They had been stockpiling snacks for months so could have a quiet party together. Too dark to read comics, unfortunately. Climbing the ladder was always easy and she hopped onto the wooden floor with a grin.

Marcelina froze.

She was not alone.

“Jory?”

Nothing, but she saw a shadow move in the corner. Her brain screamed at her to leave. What if this was an enemy soldier? What if she was going to be killed?

“Not Jory. Come away from the exit.”

The voice was older, male, and one she’d never heard. Marcelina had heard all the tales about what the enemy did to those they captured. She was sure they were fake. Positive, in fact. Except, well, she was alone and it was dark and no one knew where she was now. For all she knew, Jory’s whole family was dead already.

“If you hurt Jory, I will kill you.” The words were out before she could stop them. Marcelina closed her eyes, expecting a bullet now. Instead, she received a laugh. A warm laugh that brushed away the cold chill seeped into her body from fear.

“I’m not trying to hurt anyone. What’s your name?”

Marcelina thought she heard someone at the bottom of the tree. Was Jory on his way up? Should she warn him?

“What’s yours?”

“You first.”

“I’m The Claw.”

More laughter had her edging closer to the shadows in the corner. Jory would be safe up here. If that was him. Maybe it was soldiers.

“The Claw, a pleasure. You seem so much bigger in the comics.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Marcelina promised solemnly. Over the years she’d begun to develop a sympathy for the supposed villain. “I’m not even really a bad guy. People say that. It’s not true.”

“People say that about me as well.”

Marcelina watched as the shadows lightened and she saw whom she talked with tonight.

“Holy dirtbag! You’re one of them!”

“One of whom?”

“Traitors. Enemies of the people.”

Jory had arrived. Marcelina darted back and grabbed his hand before he might run off and tattle. He gave a half-hearted tug to get away.

“Yes, that’s what the news calls us. When they even acknowledge we exist.”

“The news lies.”

No one responded to this truth so Marcelina decided everyone else knew as well as her. She couldn’t have argued anyway. The creature, man, slithered forward.

Instead of feet he had a tail. Like a snake. His eyes glowed yellow in the darkness and there was no skin or hair on his whole body. Only scales. Even on his heavy arms. Marcelina wondered what he felt like so she released Jory’s hand despite his quiet protest.

Marcelina marched forward and reached out. Her fingers ran along his arm and he grinned. He was much bigger this close. What she’d thought was hair was more like a cobra’s hood. He spread it out and she jumped pack.

“I would never attack The Claw,” he said. “Professional courtesy.”

Even in the darkness, she was sure he saw her grin.

“Marcelina,” Jory hissed. From behind he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. “You leave her be!”

“Yes, I should be leaving. I wouldn’t want to endanger you.”

“We can help you.”

“Marcelina, no!”

“I am not Marcelina! I am The Claw.”

“If he’s caught and we’re with him, they’ll kill us. And our families.”

Her enthusiasm drained away at his words. Jory was right. The government wouldn’t mind killing children. Then it would hold the parents responsible and they would die as well. Or worse.

“He is right.” The serpent-man said. He slithered closer and Marcelina took his hand. He grinned, she thought, and pulled his hand free to touch her forehead. He had scales even on his fingers. Jory stiffened when the serpent-man touched his forehead, but he didn’t back away.

“Be careful, children.”

“You too,” Marcelina whispered.

They watched him slither, climb down the ladder and once he was on the ground Jory pulled her back and into the clubhouse. He shook, but so did she. They clung to each other the rest of the night even though they both knew they’d be in trouble come morning.

 

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31 Days - Day 3

Marcelina kicked the front door.

She sighed as loud as she was able.

She kicked the door again.

Someone was home. She heard people talking. The doorbell was not to be used. Her parents had made that clear after last summer when her and Jory had rung it in a never ending cacophony of annoying jingles. Still, she’d been out here for at least an hour. Maybe longer!

So, she rang the bell.

No one came to the door.

She rang it again.

On the fifth ring the front door swung open. Herbert stood there, shaking and pale. Something was wrong.

“Herbie, is it ok?”

He stood blocking the door, but she was slender and slid right past him. He grabbed the back of her hoodie and she jerked backwards. If he was keeping her away she wanted to know why. So, she slid her arms free and he was left holding her backpack and hoodie as she raced further into the house.

“Marcelina!”

She heard him running after her, but she ignored him. The voices, the weeping, it was all coming from her parents’ room. Siemowit’s bedroom door was open a crack and he peeked out when she thudded past. Well, he would do as he’s told!

Marcelina skidded to a stop in her parents’ room and saw her Tata and Mama on their bed. They held each other and wept. For the first time, she didn’t want to know what was wrong.

“Marcelina, come away.” Natalia was behind her. She was not family. Why was she here if something was wrong?

“No. Tata? What is it? Is it dziadzio? Did he die?” Her dziadzio had been in the hospital for two weeks now. Her parents had explained he was very old and would go to Heaven soon. Where Zuza would be waiting for him. Because Zuza got everything Marcelina wanted.

“Please, Marcelina,” her mama said.

“What is it?”

“Marcelina!” Her tata only used that tone when it was truly bad so Marcelina backed out of the doorway. She darted past Natalia and shoved open Siemowit’s door. Her brother would know something. More importantly, she could make him tell her. She’d caught him with their dziadzio’s private magazines.

“I’m not saying a word.”

Siemowit sat on his bed leafing through a comic book. Ranger One was on the cover, but so was Angel. Marcelina hated when Angel was in the comics. She was not nice. Not like the villains. The villains were supposed to be not nice, but Angel was supposed to be a good guy and she was not.

“You will to!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Get out.”

Normally, Marcelina would never have listened to him, but he didn’t sound mad or bossy. He sounded scared. She’d never heard him scared.

Marcelina fled to her room.

Under her mattress her phone buzzed. Her family didn’t know she had one. Jory had given her his old one. His family had more money. They’d not even cared! Her family would be mad.

“Hello?” she whispered.

“Marcelina? Are you ok? I’ve been calling. Is Herbert ok?”

“Herbert? He’s fine. Why wouldn’t he be? What’s going on?” Her voice rose in worried anger, but she dropped it down to whisper, “What’s wrong with Herbert?”

“No one told you?”

“No one tells me anything.”

“The government, Marcelina. They will be coming for him. The government has said all seniors in high school will be picked up for conscription.”

Marcelina dropped the phone on the floor and raced from her room. She found Herbert sitting on the couch with Natalia trying not to weep. Shoving his girlfriend aside she climbed into her brother’s lap.

“No.”

“Marcelina, go to your room.”

“No! Herbert, they can’t take you! I won’t let them!”

He gently pushed her from his lap. She glared at him, but spun around. Without a word she raced to her room. Jory was still on the phone.

“Will you come over and help me protect him?”

“Marcelina, I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s the government. They’ll be mad. My parents say we have to do as they say.”

“Fine! I’ll do it myself!”

In her mind she flung the phone across the room. It shattered. She felt better. What she actually did was hang up and hide the phone again. Maybe it would feel better to break it, but if she couldn’t stop the soldiers she would want Jory again. When she was not mad at his being a coward.

The costume almost didn’t fit. It was a year old, but she would never get rid of it. Marcelina locked her bedroom door before she took it out. Looking in the mirror she righted her hat and put on her goggles. The cape only hit her mid-calf. She’d grown a lot, especially over the last summer.

“I am The Claw,” she whispered to herself.

Then she climbed out of her window and walked around the house to the front door. The plastic sword sat in her lap and she swiped her plastic, glitter covered claw through the hair. No one would take Herbert. She’d promised dziadzio she would never let anyone come for her family.

She’d promised.

Down the street she saw the trucks come. White trucks with the government symbol painted on them in bright red and blue. Marcelina stood as they drew closer. There were three, but the other two stopped at either end of the street. They would go along, one side and the other, and take people. She would not let it happen! Not here.

Two soldiers walked up the cracked sidewalk towards her porch.

“We are here for Herbert Mencher,” the shorter one said.

“He is not here. You go away.”

The sword in her hand felt light, but it didn’t matter. She had her claw and her sword. She swiped them both in front of her.

The taller soldier stepped closer to her, but she didn’t back up.

“We are here for Herbert Mencher,” he said more quietly. A perfectly reasonable voice.

She saw his insignia. A captain. Why was a captain here? There had been conscriptions not long after she’d started school. She remembered them, but only as something for others to worry over. Her dziadzio had taught her to read rank. None of them had been above corporal.

They must have known The Claw would be here.

“I am The Claw and this house is under my protection.”

“Is it now, Marcelina?”

How did he know her name? The shine in his blue eyes made her knees tremble. She would not back down. The Claw would not!

“I am not Marcelina! She is not here. I am The Claw and you will not take Herbert Mencher! Not even Siemowit and he’s an idiot!”

The short soldier rolled his eyes and pushed past her to ring the bell.

Marcelina screamed and whacked him with her sword. It broke against his armor. So, she raised her claw to swipe at him, but the taller soldier grabbed her as the door opened. Despite her shrieks he would not let her go.

Her red and silver boots kicked back against him, but he only laughed.

Herbert stood in the door and Marcelina screamed. They could not take him. Not her brother. Only, they didn’t say anything. He didn’t say anything. Her parents clutched each other in the living room. Natalia sat crumbled in the chair, sobbing silently. Siemowit was nowhere to be seen.

Someone had to stop them.

The tall soldier’s arms tightened around her until she couldn’t scream because she had no breath.

“I could kill you. No one would stop me.” His voice wasn’t angry. It was nothing. Marcelina quieted her screams.

“I’ll come for you personally when you’re old enough to be conscripted.” The promise made her shiver. He dropped her and she fell to the concrete as Herbert was marched away.

No one came from the house for her. They left her there to stand and walk inside. They were scared. She was angry.

Marcelina walked around the house instead to climb back in her window. She locked it and pushed her desk against the door. Her family was awful.

The phone buzzed.

“Marcelina?”

“Jory. I will never let them take you.”

“Marcelina? My parents said the soldiers said there was trouble at your place.”

“The Claw did what Ranger One would not. She defended her home. Jory? I am going to grow up and get bigger and stronger and I will do what I promised my dziadzio.”

“Marcelina?”

“I won’t always be seven years old, Jory Chance. And I will never ever forget today ever.”


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31 Days - Day 2

 

“No! I’m not going!”

“Now, Marcelina. Don’t be that way. You have been talking of nothing but this party for weeks.”

“A month,” Herbert said. “At least.”

“That is enough, Herbert. You are not helping. Now, Marcelina, go put on your costume.”

“Mama! I will not wear that costume. I will not be a princess! Natalia made my costume! I am going to be The Claw! She’s from our favorite show.”

“Marcelina, no. That is no costume for a girl. The character, he is a villain.”

“I know, Mama!” Marcelina rolled her eyes at her mother. As if she didn’t know The Claw was the villain on her favorite show. She watched it at Jory’s house every week since her own mama said no. “Jory is going to be Ranger One and we’re going to fight and everyone is super excited to watch!”

Herbert snickered. Natalia shook her head. They were in high school and she adored them. Unlike Siemowit who was still in elementary school like her and was an idiot. Her mother continued to hold the box with the princess costume. It was not hers. It was Zuza’s.

“If you do not go as a princess you cannot go. Do you want to disappoint your friends?”

Marcelina screamed.

Every word her dziadzio had ever whispered to her came out of her mouth with a roar. Oh, he would be in trouble, but mama was his daughter so how much trouble could it be? Her mama would have none of it and she marched to Marcelina and slapped her on the face.

“You are a rude daughter. Go to your room. You will go nowhere. No party and no trick or treating.”

“I hate you!” Marcelina screamed. “I hate you so much! I won’t ever be a stupid princess and I won’t ever be Zuza!”

Her mama dropped the costume to the clean carpet and clapped her hands over her mouth. Marcelina knew she’d gone too far. She’d never even said Zuza’s name. No one said her name when Marcelina was in the room. As she watched, her mama fled the living room to her bedroom. Marcelina stared, nose running and cheeks wet. All of her rage drained out and left her feet leaden. As if all of her childlike regret rooted her in place.

“Herbert?” she whispered.

He shook his head and stood to follow their mother. Natalia pulled her phone from her pocket and pretended to be busy. With nowhere else to go, she ran from the house. Natalia called after her, but she kept running because Natalia was not even family.

#

It was cold outside and Marcelina had no coat or shoes. At least, she thought as she shivered in Jory’s backyard, there was no snow. All the lights were on so she detoured towards the tree at the back of the yard. She would go to the clubhouse. They had candy and a couple of Jory’s tata’s old Army blankets.

Grabbing the rope ladder was difficult as her fingers didn’t want to bend. She blew on them and shoved them under her armpits. Babcia said it was not ladylike, but it worked. Once her fingers would grasp the rope she climbed up.

The clubhouse was cold and the first thing she did was find the blankets and wrap them tight around her body. Marcelina sat by the treasure box and dug out the last of the cookies from last week. They would still be good and she was hungry. She’d deliberately not eaten much at dinner to save room for goodies at the party. Now she wished she’d eaten more of the stew her mama had made.

“Marcelina.”

Jory whispered from under the tree. She didn’t respond, but tossed the last of her cookie down to the ground. Red hair and a worried grin popped up through the hole. He climbed up into the clubhouse and she opened the blankets for him to join her.

“I brought cider. I can’t stay long.”

He was warm and Marcelina clutched the thermos which was warmer. She could almost feel her toes and everything. From his pockets he pulled out a couple of crumbled brownies.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t come.”

“Your mom called. She was mad.”

“She wanted me to be Zuza for Halloween.”

Jory was the only one she’d ever talked to about her dead sister. Her family refused. Well, her dziadzio would, but he always sounded so sad she did not. He had lost too many people. She knew because when he’d been drinking he would tell her tales. When he did that she would sit in his lap and hold his hand and promise she would grow up and be strong and protect everyone.

Dziadzio would laugh and say she was too little. Marcelina would promise to get bigger. The promise grew with every repetition. Now, she knew, she had to grow up and protect everyone. The words wrapped around her entire self. It was what she would be and no one would stop her.

“I have to go back. Your mom told my mom to tell you to get home now. But you don’t have to go. Stay here and I’ll bring you food again.”

They hugged before Jory scurried away. He would be back. He was her best friend and she knew he would help her someday. They would protect the world. And she would have a costume! Even better than The Claw’s! 

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31 Days - Day 1

“Couch. Jory Couch.”

The teacher’s voice grated through the high pitched laughter in the room. Twenty heads swiveled around to the stern man in the bad suit. A narrow-faced, freckled boy with ginger hair raised his hand. Marcelina, seated at a table in front of him, twisted around to identify this boy. He caught her staring and stuck out his tongue.

Boys!

The teacher’s voice droned on and Marcelina snuck a peek down at the new crayons in her lap. How she wanted to draw! When would they get to the drawing part?

“Mencher! Marcelina Mencher, raise your hand now!”

Marcelina shrank down in her chair. That tone of voice was familiar. Even if the person using it was not known. Her hand rose with a trembling slowness she knew, even at five, gave her away.

“You must pay attention, Marcelina.”

She nodded her head meekly. Everyone was staring. Most importantly, her new crayons were scattered on the floor. The colors, still bright, were no longer warming. Would she be allowed to pick them up? Rather than ask, she slid down in her chair and onto the floor under her table. The teacher said something, but she ignored him. Her other brother, Siemowit, had proclaimed from the lofty heights of third grade that kindergarten was for babies. Marcelina had hit him with her small fist and proclaimed herself no baby.

Then she’d been sent to bed with no piernik.

Once the crayons were in her hands she looked at the shoes of her classmates. Everyone had new shoes. They shone with the proclamation that no one had worn them before. New feet, new laces or buckles, and no scuff marks. Marcelina slid her own secondhand shoes off.

It was not as if they’d been used much, but that was why she hated them so. The shoes had been Zuza’s. Zuza, who had died two years ago when she was Marcelina’s age. Sometimes she still heard her parents crying when they thought her asleep. Her brothers pretended they were not sad, but everyone was sad.

Marcelina was the last. The youngest. But now, sometimes, she felt like she’d be doing everything twice. Because her parents would not think to themselves, “Today is Marcelina’s first day of school.” No, they would think, “Zuza’s first day would have been two years ago. Today is for her as well as Marcelina. Because Marcelina must live for her sister as well.”

It was a disturbing thought for a girl of five. Especially since, if pressed, she could not put it into words. Only feelings. It felt as if she must live for two. Be both daughters of the Mencher family.

The shoes were a constant reminder so she kicked them away. Her legs were strong and so the shoes skidded across the thin carpet and landed under another table. Against another foot. Marcelina was caught when a ginger-haired boy ducked his head down and grinned at her.

Because she could not talk, hiding as she was, she didn’t put the grin into words. Not the way her oldest brother would talk about his girlfriend’s smile or hair. Or other things when he also thought her asleep. It made her stomach feel funny, the boy’s grin, and so she grinned back.

Her eyes grew wide when he tugged off his shoes. He slid out of his chair and landed softly on his butt. Marcelina clapped a hand over her mouth to quiet her giggle. His shoes was kicked across the carpet. Not as well. She had to stretch her arm out to reach them.

He wore tennis shoes. They were white and she stroked the new footwear in wonder. Someday, in the far future it seemed, she would get shoes of her own. Not Zuza’s. When she looked up from the shoe he mimed putting it on.

Did he want to trade? But, he had boy shoes! And her shoes, scuffed Mary Janes of brown, were girl shoes. He slid her first shoe onto his foot. She tried his on with a bounced excitement. They fit! So, she slid his other shoe on. He was wearing hers! Marcelina had to keep from laughing.

She did.

He did not.

Strong fingers closed around her arm and Marcelina squeaked. The teacher, Mr. Vilhjalmsson, pulled her up to her feet. Jory stood as well and she thought that brave.

“Miss Mencher, what were you doing?”

“I dropped my crayons.”

“Jory has girl shoes! Jory has girl shoes!” The chorus was picked up by the class before Mr. Vilhjalmsson stopped them with a clap of his hands. Marcelina rubbed her arm where he’d held her. It didn’t hurt. It was the thought of being caught.

Would her parents be called? They would be disappointed. Zuza would not have been caught. She would have been a good student. Marcelina began to sob, unable to stop the overwhelming sense of failure she’d created in her head. Zuza would be looking down from Heaven. Mad. Upset that Marcelina could go to school and fail when she could not go and thrive.

The kids fell quiet, teasing forgotten as Marcelina held their attention. Twenty heads watched as Marcelina threw up her breakfast while still sobbing. Then the shrieking began and everyone raced away from her.

Everyone except Mr. Vilhjalmsson.

And Jory, but he only stared raptly at his brand new tennis shoes. No longer white. 

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My December Project

What am I doing this December? I'm taking a holiday! I want to focus on other stuff so all other projects are on hold. I'll finish Widowed Witch of the West in January. I'll work on assorted editing for projects in January as well.

For December I'm going to do something fun. I had a ball writing my short stories in October. Along that vein, I am going to be doing some free writing here, on my blog.

Every day between now and December 31st I am writing a chapter of an ongoing story. It will cover one event, in one year, of the lives of my characters. I have no idea what sort of backdrop this story will take place in front of right now. That will develop. It's a love story and it begins when the two characters, Jory and Marcelina are five years old. I'm thinking 500-1000 words a day. 

As with the short stories, I am writing and posting in a day so minimal edits will be done. If you want to follow the whole thing check back every day!

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Obligatory Fallout 4 Post About Romancing My Companion

Yes, I won Nano. No, the novel is not finished. So, I lost. In my head. Because usually I write the entire thing. Still, I am close. 

Yes, this is entirely the fault of Fallout 4. Which I resisted like the dickens until I hit that 50k and then I surrendered. Since then, I've played a lot and been reading all kinds of posts about the best companions and how to romance them and etc. You get a special perk when you reach the highest level of affinity. If they are romancable, you can do it then.

Not all companions can be in a relationship with you. 

I love Dogmeat. He is my boy! What a good dog! Who's a good dog? Dogmeat! Seriously, I love my dog. However, I hit a point where I wanted a companion who can range attack. Dogmeat, who loves you unconditionally no matter what, like a dog, does not shoot guns.

So, I brought out Preston Garvey. I like him. But, as has been said, he's basically a paladin. I am NOT good enough for him. He's always, you can do better, don't steal that, quit shooting! Also, I cannot romance someone named Preston. That is my brother's name. It feels weird. So, the weird and the dislike of lockpicking let me know that Olivia, my sole survivor, would never settle down to roam the Commonwealth with him.

Then, Olivia met the love of her post apocalyptic life. She was in Good Neighbor. A charming place. In the bar she met MacCready, RJ MacCready and it was, if not love at first sight, an excellent match! He's a mercenary. She bought his gun. MacCready is NOT the obligatory merc as someone had the nerve to call him!

No, MacCready had BACKSTORY. Backstory that tied into Fallout 3. Yes, yes, he did. His backstory also had some similarities with poor Olivia. Most importantly? He liked when locks were picked and  Nuka Quantums were stolen from people who clearly did not need them the way I did!  As they traveled, they grew closer. Eventually the whole of his story was learned and, soon after, they were smitten with each other. 

At one point, when checking up on the relationship he said (paraphrasing) "I'm happy to spend the rest of my life walking this earth with you." The man is swoonworthy! And looks damn fine in his militia hat. He mentioned once he wanted one. So, I procured one for him. He also jokes about not messing with Olivia when she's in power armor. A secure man. SWOON!

So, yea, now they roam the Commonwealth kicking ass and taking names. And stealing NQs and sometimes plates. He doesn't think it's worth the time stealing junk, but junk is needed in the settlement. He deals with the eccentricities of his one time employer. 

In my head I am writing out their lives together. Because, well, I always want a happy ending and these two crazy kids deserve one! After all, he got out of politics and she was a Popsicle once. If anyone deserves happiness it's these two. 

 

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